Speaking What We Feel

It's been a rough week.  I might even classify it as bad.

I'm not going to go into the particulars.  They don't really matter.  But each thing that happened was compounded by the next until, by Friday, I was a tightly wound of emotion and tears and confusion and frustration.

Late last night/early this morning, my little sister texted me.  She's student teaching this semester before graduating.  One of her students died in a car accident last night, along with a younger sibling and the two parents.  They leave behind a daughter in college, now on her own.

I heard a sermon this morning.  The preacher, who was filling our pulpit, touched on the ideal of lament.  He said "Lament is speaking what we feel, not saying what we are supposed to say."

Lament is speaking what we feel, not saying what we are supposed to say. 

In this Lenten season, it feels freeing to savor that permission.

We sang What Wondrous Love this morning.  It's one of my favourite hymns.  The last verse in particular echoes in my mind as I wrestle with the grief I feel for this family I never met, for the loss felt in a community I hold dearly to my heart, and for my own frustration and anger and sadness that grew during my work week.  It speaks what I feel.

What wondrous love is this, O my soul, O my soul!
What wondrous love is this, O my soul.
What wondrous love is this that caused the Lord of bliss
To bear the dreadful curse for my soul, for my soul
To bear the dreadful curse for my soul.

When I was sinking down, sinking down, sinking down
When I was sinking down, sinking down.
When I was sinking down beneath God's righteous frown,
Christ laid aside his crown for my soul, for my soul
Christ laid aside his crown for my soul.

To God and to the Lamb, I will sing, I will sing;
To God and to the Lamb, I will sing.
To God and to the Lamb who is the great "I Am"
While millions join the theme, I will sing, I will sing;
While millions join the theme, I will sing.

And when from death I'm free, I'll sing on, I'll sing on;
And when from death I'm free, I'll sing on.  
And when from death I'm free, I'll sing and joyful be;
And through eternity, I'll sing on, I'll sing on;
And through eternit, I'll sing on.